Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Ode' to the Jalapeno Pepper from Sweet Life Sauce Company!

Yup...we make Sweet BBQ Sauce...we make Spicy BBQ Sauce...we make hot sauces...we make grilling rubs. With all this saucing, we get the opportunity to pair our sweet BBQ sauces, spicy BBQ sauces, hot sauces, and rubs with some of the coolest foods on earth.

Jalapeno Peppers continue to rise in being one of my grilled favorites...and I say they are PROLIFIC in the number of recipes you can do with Jalapeno Peppers.

As the chili head in me has grown. I've come to find some great ways to slap these spicy green morsels from heaven on the grill. Wrapped, stuffed, plain, seasoned, unseasoned, plain, cheesed up, and cheesed out. It's not just about the Sweet BBQ Sauce we use for dipping or that we infuse into the ground beef...or pork...or lamb...or shrimp. It's about the fusion of flavors that we get when the goodies from the grilled Jalapenos...slightly charred and tender meet the palette of your mouth. It happens to be one of the biggest surprises for those non-chili heads in the crowd as well.

This happens to be one of our first recipes in blog form...expect many more in the future as we exhaust the ways you can grill a Jalapeno Pepper for the enjoyment of your friends and family.

Here's version 1...
Grilled Stuffed Jalapenos...a la Sweet Life!

Prep Time to Get Peppers Ready: 15 minutes
Prep time to make stuffing for Peppers: about 10 minutes
Cooking Time on the Grill: about 20 to 30 minutes
Optional prep time to come up with some system to mark which peppers are going to be REALLY hot and which ones are going to be kinda mild: maybe 3 minutes
Total prep and cooking time to amaze your friends and family (also known as hanging out time and impressing time): You have about 45 minutes to an hour of dazzle time with this one.
Experience Level needed to pull off WOW Factor: Beginner
How many people can you serve: For the friend who brags on how they LOVE hot stuff…mark the one you left all the seeds and membrane in…she will only be having half of it. For the other people you can bank on one to two Peppers each. This is an easy recipe to make a big batch or make a small batch.
Pepper Ingredients:
Grab some fresh Jalapeno Peppers from your local Farmers Market or favorite grocery. Try to get medium to large sized Jalapeno Peppers. Say 20 to 30 of them.
Stuffing Ingredients:
1 Pound of Ground Beef
1- Medium Sweet Onion Diced up into small pieces
1- TBS Symphony of Seasonings Grilling Rub from Sweet Life Sauce Company
½ -Cup Sweet Life BBQ Sauce from Sweet Life Sauce Company
½ to ¾ - Cup of Cream Cheese

Directions:
•You might get some gloves on for this part..unless you are a chili head...then it probably won't matter
•Wash your peppers and cut the stems off
•This will leave an opening in the top of the pepper you will use to get the seeds and membrane out of each pepper
•Take a skinny paring knife or grab a Popsicle stick that you can jam down in the pepper to remove the membrane and seeds to turn the heat down on the peppers. The more membrane and seeds you leave in the peppers, the hotter they will be
•Be sure to have at least one for that friend of yours that brags how she likes hot food…don’t touch that pepper after you cut the top off
•Mix the Ground beef, Symphony of Seasonings, Sweet Life BBQ Sauce, and Onions together in a bowl.
•Place a Teaspoon or so of Cream Cheese into the bottom of each Pepper
•Stuff each pepper with the Ground beef mixture until it reaches the top of the pepper
•Place the pepper on low direct heat on the grill…it would be really cool if you used a pepper grilling plate made for the purpose
•Cook on the grill for 20 to 30 minutes…look for the peppers to be charred and the juices to be flowing from the ground beef mixture
•Keep your eye on the one for your friend who likes hot foods…she will not be let down.
•Remove from the heat and let the peppers rest before you serve
•Get your camera out from behind your back and have your friend eat the first one that you have set aside for her….
•For the rest of your guests, it is time to serve them up with some Sweet Life BBQ Sauce!

Enjoy!

Grilled Jalapeno Peppers...version 2 on deck! Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Peppers stuffed with...well...you'll just have to wait.

And as we say at Sweet Life Sauce Company...

ALL is well in the land!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sweet Life Sauce Company and the ole' Recipes Tab...


We get quite a few requests for our recipes at Sweet Life Sauce Company. Our sauces and rubs are used in all of the recipes you find on the recipes tab at http://sweetlifesaucecompany.com/recipes.htmlWe make an effort to put up unique recipes tried right here in the kitchen at the ole’ homestead.

Some of the recipes listed do not have active links attached to them…yet. We have every intention of making them active links however, the chunk of protein we desire to show in the recipe has yet to get into my paws to cook it.

For example…Pomp on the Beach. This recipe, when we do it, will blow you away. Problem with this recipe is it includes a fresh Pompano…caught on the beach. This means ME catching it and cooking it right there. With the weather we had this past winter, prime Pompano fishing time, there wasn’t a Pompano to be found in my usual Pompano fishing haunts. Pomp on the Beach will have to wait.

Another one…Stoned Fish. I have this really cool grilled fish idea ready to go that will utilize a hot as hell cooking stone on the ole’ grill in the back yard. For me to pull this one off…I needed to get a grill that would actually fit the stone I have…now that I have the grill to fit the stone the next step is to go get my hands on a fresh Mangrove Snapper or Yellowtail so I can film the recipe for you…again…the wait will be worth it.

We have had excellent feedback with quite a few of our recipes to date. Some are even getting a following on YouTube. Sweet Life Garlic Pegged Grilled Shrimp is a very simple grilled shrimp recipe that was inspired by a fishing lure I use hunting for the elusive Pomp on the Beach in said recipe above. When we flip this recipe out in front of friends and family it is amazing to watch how quickly they disappear. We have friends that don’t eat shrimp but eat Sweet Life Garlic Pegged Shrimp.

Then there is our big hit recipe called Sweet Life Bacon Wrapped Turkey Breast Stuffed with Chicken and Sweet Onion. This recipe was loosely inspired by a Turducken. You take a whole package of bacon and wrap it around a pounded out turkey breast that is stuffed with boneless chicken thighs and a chunked up sweet onion. It is really easy to make and will be a tailgating favorite this Fall as we do the college football scene.

If you are getting ready for a shindig, backyarder, clam bake, crawfish boil, pig roast, or a tailgate party check us out at www.sweetlifesaucecompany.com. Try them out for yourself...



Dr. Pepper Ribs
Garlic Pegged Shrimp
Sweet Life Bacon Wrapped Grilled Turkey stuffed with Chicken and Sweet Onion
Sweet Life Grilled Salmon Poached with Beer

All is well in the land!

Rob W.
Owner and Founder
Sweet Life Sauce Company

Sweet Life Sauce Company


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Can you say..."MOTHER OF ALL HOT SAUCE COLLECTIONS" Part 3




We are getting ready to wrap up with Part 3 of a 3 part interview with Vic Clinco and Sweet Life Sauce Company...and I'll let you know I've learned much. Its not just about this really cool Hot Sauce Collection, but about the Fiery Foods industry as a whole.

I'm feeling more and more privileged to be a part of this new industry for Sweet Life Sauce Company and my family every day.

We continue and finish our interview with Vic "I carry bullets filled with Hot Sauce on my key chain" Clinco...Hot Sauce Collector Extraordinaire.


Sweet Life Sauce Company: Vic, you have really given us some great ideas for some food pairings...it makes me wonder one thing. Do you put Hot Sauce on everything you eat?

Vic Clinco: EVERYTHING!! I always have a selection on my person with a set of bullet canisters I keep on my key chain. I have three of them and keep a supply of Jolokia dust in one of them so I can always add some heat to whatever I'm eating...wherever I'm eating.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: (Jaw drop sound in background...did he just say bullets on his key chain again?) So you have like bullets on your key chain...???

Vic Clinco: Yep...I have three of them. Right here in front of me...I'm looking at them right now. They have these little screw thingys on them (poetic license taken here) and you can put stuff inside them. I always have some Jolokia Pepper Dust in one these days...just sprinkle it on anything when I need it. I have another with usually a Blairs product in it...and I'll mix it up on the third depending on how I'm feeling. They work great...

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Everything?

Vic Clinco: EVERYTHING!

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Wow...that is pretty cool. Now that I understand this passion much more deeply now, let's go with an easy question. What's the oldest bottle of Hot Sauce in your collection?

Vic Clinco: That would be a bottle of Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce. It's in an original bottle with their original label. It's either their first product, the Original or their Roasted Garlic. It may even be signed if I remember. That would be the one.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: I've had a chance to see a picture of your Hot Sauce Collection when you resided in Orlando. Its over the Hot Sauce Bar at Tijuana Flats off 436. Impressive even from years ago and this leads me to my next question. Knowing you're a Florida native that has found himself in Arizona, I hear you may have even made a wrong turn in Albuquerque, just what does moving a Hot Sauce collection from Florida to Arizona involve...how did you do it?


Vic Clinco: We moved over 2,000 bottles from our home in Florida to Arizona. I personally individually wrapped each and every bottle in bubble wrap and gently placed them in sturdy boxes and packed them with peanuts.



Sweet Life Sauce Company: Wo...so every bottle had a chance to get some loving care from you as it was packed up...didn't leave that for the movers did you?

Vic Clinco: Noooo...not the Hot Sauce Collection. Let em' move the china and the antiques...but not the Hot Sauce Collection. My biggest dose of anxiety came the day we moved and one of the associates helping us picked up one of the boxes...its as if he slapped my baby and tried to make out with my wife. That was a No-No.

I knew I would have to take it all from there...NO ONE was going to touch my Hot Sauce Collection. I pretty much had the movers leave the Hot Sauce boxes alone and I moved them one by one into the truck. Then we positioned mattress in the front of the box pile, closed them in with another mattress, and wrapped them up tight. I'd say they had a nice and cozy nest to travel in.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Burning question...how many did you break?

Vic Clinco: Made it all the way to Arizona without one bottle being broken. Took hours but it was worth it.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: So we're getting ready to wrap this interview up...question I've had all along in the back of my head...have you ever been in a situation where you had to decide between the Hot Sauce Collection or "insert thing more important than Hot Sauce collection here?"

Vic Clinco: (no pause) NEVER!

Vic...our sincere thanks from Sweet Life Sauce Company for sharing your knowledge and connections with a rookie in this incredible industry. Your passion for all things spicy shows and the manner in which you are willing to share your knowledge and willingness to "pay it forward" is inspiring and we will be sure to do the same given the opportunity.

We are hopeful at Sweet Life Sauce Company to make your list of favorites in the near future...your order should be at your door...BooDreaux's Cajun Rocket Fuel and Screamin' Peaches Hot Sauce are incredibly "Bullets on your Key chain" friendly.

All is well in the land!

Rob Willets
Owner and Founder
Sweet Life Sauce Company
Small batch BBQ Sauces, Hot Sauces, and Grilling Rubs


Sweet Life Sauce Company


Sunday, June 6, 2010

Can you say..."MOTHER OF ALL HOT SAUCE COLLECTIONS" Part 2

This is installment 2 of a 3 part interview with Vic Clinco. Vic may have the largest Private Hot Sauce Collection in the United States. There is one we could find that was larger with Peppers.com...but it is a company collection. It is impressive at over 6,000 bottles from some research online. However, they don't have Sweet Life Sauce Company Hot Sauces in their collection...

Vic does...

Vic wins!

Funny how we crossed paths with a simple purchase of BooDreaux's Cajun Rocket Fuel and Screamin' Peaches Hot Sauce...

We present you part 2 of our interview with Vic Clinco...Hot Sauce Collector Extraordinaire!

Sweet Life Sauce Company: What are some of your favorites...your go to brands of Hot Sauce?

Vic Clinco: For the everyday all purpose Hot Sauce I always have some Crystal or Louisiana Hot Sauce around. From there, I really dig CaJohns...especially their Holy Jolokia out now...man I love that stuff. Then there is Toluca Gourmet and their Jalapeno and Habanero Hot Sauces...Danny Cash Hot Sauce out of Colorado is one of my favorites...great flavors and heat with their products. One more would be Scotty B's Gourmet Hot Sauces out of San Diego.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Nastiest Hot Sauce?

Vic Clinco: Easy one...there was a line of hot sauces thrown together from a not to be named professional sports league...the stuff they put in those bottles is flat out nasty...nothing good to say about that line other than you can get a cool label with your favorite team on it. Yuk.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Best Hot Sauce to put on Vanilla Ice Cream?

Vic Clinco: Hands down...Denzel's Mom's Apple and Cinnamon Habanero Hot Sauce...hands down. I'm not sure if it is still being made but it goes really well with some ice cream.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: So I'm going to look for a good Hot Sauce to pair with a Red Wine...say a heavy Cab or a Shiraz...what would you suggest?

Vic Clinco: Oooohhhh....CaJohns Holy Jolokia...great flavor and heat that will blend well with the tannins of a good Red. Definitely.

And so goes part 2 of our interview with Vic Clinco. We hope you are enjoying the read. In our third and final installment of our interview with Vic we're going to find out:

  • What Vic won't put Hot Sauce on...it's a pretty short list.

  • The finer points of moving the country's largest private hot sauce collection across 3 time zones...and the over under on how many were broken doing so.

  • The Oldest Bottle of Hot Sauce in his collection.

  • Life choices...Hot Sauce or....
Until then, enjoy lots of Hot Sauce...especially our two at Sweet Life Sauce Company: Boodreaux's Cajun Rocket Fuel and Screamin' Peaches Hot Sauce.


Soon to be some of Vic's Favorites!

All is well in the land!

Get your SAUCE!

Rob W.

Owner and Founder

Sweet Life Sauce Company


Friday, June 4, 2010

Can you say..."MOTHER OF ALL HOT SAUCE COLLECTIONS!" Part 1

"So Vic...just how many bottles of Hot Sauce DO you have in your collection right now...?"

"Ah man...Rob...let me see...as of a couple days ago...it was just north of...hmmmm....just running some numbers in my head...just north of 2,370...but we have some orders coming in the mail this week that should put us over the 2,380 number, shooting for 2,400 in no time."

(the muffled thump Vic heard in the background was my jaw hitting the Mexican tile on my back porch in Florida)

I need to set this up for you.

Two weeks ago I'm looking at the Sweet Life Sauce Company Fan Page on Facebook and I get these tagged photos of this extensive private Hot Sauce collection from Vic Clinco out in Arizona. Pretty cool just at that but then I see one of the pics has our two hot sauces; Boodreax's Cajun Rocket Fuel and Screamin' Peaches Hot Sauce. I'm thinking this is pretty cool that our two sauces are already in a Hot Sauce collection like this...but then it hits me...how in the heck did our Hot Sauces show up in a Hot Sauce collection in Arizona...I gotta talk to this Vic guy!
After a few back and forths with some private messaging, Vic and I set up a time to speak on the phone. During our conversation, Vic was kind in accepting my offer to interview him for our blog at Sweet Life Sauce Company.

We offer this Part 1 of 3 interview to you with Vic Clinco: Hot Sauce Collector Extraordinaire!

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Vic...what is the watershed moment, that childhood memory or event from your past sticks in your mind that you are and were destined to be a Hot Sauce fan...well...hot sauce addict?

Vic Clinco: Rob...it was probably in High School in Florida. I can remember being at a watching party for the Final 4 Basketball Tournament...Georgetown was in the final 4's. I was at a party that this hot sauce was getting passed around with my friends and a few of them were hitting the floor in pain and carrying on about how hot this particular hot sauce was...I said give it to me...I poured it on and threw it in my mouth and LOVED it. It was one of Miss Anna's and I was hooked from there on...Matouk's fit the bill for me as well in the earlier years. I definitely became a fan of Hot Sauce then...but hadn't started collecting until later years.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: How did this hobby of collecting Hot Sauces start?

Vic Clinco: Well about 14 years ago...about the same year my wife and I were married I received a 12 pack of random hot sauces from around the country for a Christmas present. I always had them out on our counter in plain view and as friends and family would come by they would always comment on our 12 bottle Hot Sauce collection. Seems as though this little gift of 12 had some legs as those same friends and family started giving us Hot Sauces from their travels and it began to grow from there.

I pretty quickly picked up a copy of Jennifer Trainer Thompson's book "The Great Hot Sauce Book". I loved the full page shots of all the bottles and used that as a model for our walls of Hot Sauce. I had a blast finding the Hot Sauces in her book and marking each one of them off with a felt tip pen as they came into my collection.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: With 14 years or so of collecting under your belt and the mention of you tying the start of this hobby back to your wedding...I suspect there may be some level of support for this hobby with your wife? I mean...I know lots of men that have had their man caves reduced to a slide show on their iPhone of the 10 pound bass they caught...your wife has let you take over entire rooms in your home for this hobby...

Vic Clinco: (laughing) Yeah...my wife is the closet Hot Sauce collector in our family. She's not the "go out and hunt and find what you can run across" type in stores and such..she's the "laser focused tactical" type that uses technology and the good ole' Post Office to get the perfect Hot Sauce additions in our collection to our front door. She is a huge fan as well and we have a great time as a family with our Hot Sauce hobby.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: What tips can you give to budding collectors on where to look for new Hot Sauces?

Vic: Wow...let's see...I'm the type of collector that will randomly stop at some small grocery store, the local grocer types, Mexican groceries, gift shops. I love finding the $0.89 centers that have no marketing, no fancy labels...just hot sauce and a bottle. I am always looking for these types. I'm also really big on developing relationships with the manufactures and the men and women around the country that bring these products out to the market each and every year. Most makers have Facebook pages, websites, many Twitter...it's awesome when you can interact directly with the owners and makers of these products.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Looks to me that this isn't just a hobby for the Clinco's...your love for Hot Sauce is a lifestyle?

Vic Clinco: Hot Saucing for us is a lifestyle. I mean we will plan vacations around Hot Sauce Conventions and gourmet food shows where we know there will be a good contingent of Hot Sauces available. I have actually worked show booths with a few of our favorites like Flaming Joe's out at the Fiery Foods Show in Albuquerque. We were on cruise this past year in the Caribbean and found our shore trips to be a treasure chest of finds for hot sauces we had never run across before.

Sweet Life Sauce Company: Biggest AHA! moment in your pursuit of Hot Sauces?

Vic Clinco: Probably from a visit I received at my home from a friend in the industry...he walked into my Hot Sauce den and started pointing out all the hot sauces on the shelf that had the same product on the inside of the bottle...only difference being the label on the outside. There is a big part of the industry that simply places the same products in the same bottles but changes up the image through the labels and packaging. Still fun to collect though and there are some good ones.

Thanks for the info Vic for Part 1. We'll get Part 2 out in a day or two and in Part 2...we'll learn
  • Vics favorite Hot Sauces and why...all you Hot Sauce makers get ready.
  • Hot Sauce pairing with Vanilla Ice Cream and a Shiraz.
  • A little history on how he found Sweet Life Sauce Company Hot Sauces.
Until then...as we say at Sweet Life Sauce Company...(and all my buddies in New England said...) All is well in the land!

Rob W.
Owner and Founder...and sometimes writer
Sweet Life Sauce Company
http://www.sweetlifesaucecompany.com/

Monday, February 22, 2010

Moose permit, Moose permit...where for art thou Moose Permit


I recently received some incredible pics of one of our products being used on a fresh Moose steak from a good friend up in Maine Joe S.

The pictures made me drool and I took his recipe and posted on our website at www.sweetlifesaucecompany.com under our recipes tab.

As I was typing this recipe up, it made me wonder the process one must go through to actually have a fresh piece of Moose steak, rare, and with perfectly placed grilling marks on each side show up in a picture you could flip out to your buddies on e-mail.

As Americans, we have images and stories of our forefathers hunting Moose in our Northern Tier of states...a legacy that lives to this day though we have lots more people and probably fewer Moose.

I thought the research would start with the first step into the woods...you know...hunting for Moose...little did I know it all started with a Mainer staple since 1998 now...the Moose Permit Lottery Drawing.

First things first...and a Mainer rite of passage these days. You gotta get a Moose Permit if you want to bag a Moose...and you can only bag 1.

I've done my best to garner the information from a well done set of processes and regulations you can find on the State of Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife website.

Here goes...

Get your Moose Permit Lottery Registration in before April 1 if you do it by paper application. However, if you do it via the online application process, you get until April 14th at 11:59 pm to submit. (right after that, you can hit the send button to finish up any obligations you may have to Uncle Sam as well...you ARE sitting at your computer)

Oh yeah...only 3,140 permits will be issued in 2010....125 more than 2009. (A possible benefit of Global Warming according to some camps...less ice in the mountains means more land for the Moose to wander on...thus leading to a population explosion which has to be controlled ...I saw it in a college kids paper...it must be true.)

It is STRONGLY suggested to use the Online Moose Permit Lottery process to save time. Additionally, you get instant feedback of confirmation you are registered for the lottery...a sense of knowing you will not have if you submit via a paper application.

In Maine, you are allowed to do a bit of gambling to increase your odds of pulling one of the 3,140 permits that will be issued in 2010. You can buy more "chances". 1 Chance will cost you $7 bucks...3 chances will cost you $12 bucks, and 6 will cost you $22 bucks...but you gotta buy at least one.

Bonus points are also added which count as additional "chances" for any hunter that HAS entered the Moose Lottery but HAS NOT had their name drawn to receive a Moose Permit since the lottery began in 1998. One "chance" will be added to your BONUS for each consecutive year that you have not been selected.

The State has a little database that keeps track of all this "bonus" and "chance" stuff so don't you worry.

You will forfeit your bonus if you skip a year and forget to pay for one...or you actually get a permit this year ...or if you actually get a permit but then say..."uhhh...no thanks, I really didn't want one, I just came for the Moose Permit drawing party ...I never would go out in the woods and hunt a Moose...are you kidding me, I don't even like Moose."....or somehow the State figures out you didn't apply legally this year...(remember the online process...keeps down mistakes...use it)...or you happen to input your wrong date of birth or forget to tell the State you applied for a permit last year...or I suspect...if you are dead.

Other than those reasons...you will get your "bonus" points added and no you can not will your bonus points to a buddy!

Now then...time to pick the area of the State of Maine in which you would like to apply for a permit. There are 28 Management Districts across the State of Maine....no guarantees you'll get the one you want.

Here are some stats to get you an idea of the math you are up against...

The State of Maine covers an area of 33,215 Square miles...say and average of 1,200 square miles per district to go find your Moose in...of yeah ...Moose.

There are approximately 29,000 Moose in the State of Maine with a number of crazy tourist Moose that come up from Massachusetts each year and act like they own the place.

Canadian Moose must have a passport to come into Maine but they are still coming so they can take advantage of our Health Care system in the US.

New Hampshire Moose typically are not able to make it across the state line into Maine as they get trampled and killed on the road by the Massachusetts Moose....it's slowing those crazy tourist Moose down a little. (oddly enough, there have also been unconfirmed sightings of Maine Moose looking for shoes at Fiddlers Green in North Conway, New Hampshire ...we're still looking for reliable eyewitness accounts and photos).

This makes about 1.14 Moose per square mile of Maine or almost 11 permits per square mile that are staggered through the different Moose Hunting Season Dates per each of the Management Area Zones ...including all of its lakes and rivers, which some of these Moose may be swimming IN and not actually be ON the land.

Find your Square Mile of Moose heaven and you have some pretty good odds....as long as you don't get shot by the other 10 guys out there doing the same thing. Be careful!

When you get your permit, get your Management area assignment, THEN you can whip out your wallet again and pay $52 bucks to actually get your Moose Permit...up until now, it's been a game of chance to just get ON the VIP list....but you're in! ($484 if you are NOT a Mainer)

Wait a minute...you got your Moose Permit, you got your Management Area...but you didn't reeeaaallllyyyy like the management area that you got. If you would like...and can find someone who would like you and your management area...you can SWAP! A swap will cost you $7.00 bucks between the 2 of you but hey...if you are up for it...go for it.

Just send one letter ...signed by both of you. Be sure though to include, your name...your swap dudes name...your permit number...the permit number of the dude you are swapping with...the permit type you have...the permit type your swap buddy has...the season you pulled...the season your buddy pulled that you want...the Management area you are not wanting to hunt in...the management area of your buddy that you WANT to hunt in...and a check for $7.00 made out to "Treasurer, State of Maine'...no cash. All due into Augusta by no later than July 31st...Treasurer Lemoine has a busy month reading swap letters in August and counting up all those $7.00 checks.

If you are sloppily wealthy and don't get your number pulled...this Moose Hunt thing is not over for you yet. See, the State of Maine will let 10 permits go each year to the highest bidders. That person could be you if you are up for sending a sealed bid in to get your permit. Once you follow all the procedures to submit your sealed bid and are determined to be one of the top ten bidders, you will then be given a permit and treated like all the other Moose Permit holders in the State of Maine...

(Except that if one of the other 3,140 dudes that went through the hell of waiting since 1998 to get his name pulled for a Moose Permit(not to mention the thousands of dudes that didn't even get picked but had to settle for one more "bonus" point for next year) finds out that you are one of those Top Ten bidder types that just strolled in with a wad of cash and a sealed envelope, you will probably get your butt kicked!)

Alright...you have made it through the forest, the fire, the lottery, the red tape, the joy, the agony...BUT YOU HAVE A MOOSE PERMIT! WWOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Fresh permit in hand...now its off to go find a Moose!

Here are the steps to go through to bag your Moose this year...

Step 1. Set alarm for 12:00 a.m. as it will take 3 hours to drive to your Management Area from where you live and you want to be "in the woods" 2 hours before sunrise.

Step 2. Head hits pillow at 11:15 p.m. for some well needed sleep.

Step 3. Hit snooze on alarm when it goes off at 12:00 a.m. after 45 minutes of dreamy sleep.

Step 4. Hit snooze alarm again after another 9 minutes of sleep.

Step 5. Hit snooze alarm again after another 9 minutes of sleep but this time rip alarm clock from the wall and throw it across the room...

Step 6. Wake out of sleepy stupor dream state where you heard this tapping noise you thought was a Bull Moose rubbing its massive rack on a tree only to realize its your lazy dog running in its sleep on the floor next to your bed...

Step 7. Realize with TERROR that you have a good nights sleep behind you now and that you should already be in the woods of your management area but are just now running to your truck with one sock on your head, a hat on your elbow, and a child's mitten tightly pulled up and around your calf...

Step 8. And you Mainers will get this...Make a right out of your driveway and drive for 2.3 miles. Turn left and drive for 4.2 miles. Stop at the T in the road and turn right. Go 5.6 miles. Cross over I-95 but don't even think your are going to get anywhere close to a road on the way to your management area that you can do 70 on.

Step 9. Turn left at the big water shed impoundment and drive 6.7 miles. Come to a dirt road but don't take that one...take the next one and make a left. This will take you through this windy forest road that will dump you out on Route 7. When you hit Route 7, turn left. Go for about 10.3 miles. Turn North.

Step 10. Drive in a general North direction for an hour...doesn't really matter which road...just drive in a general North direction. After an hour you should hit a lake. Turn left at the lake, watch out for the tourists at the Restaurant getting their breakfast as you scream by them...they think they own the road and will expect you to stop for them in the crosswalk...just like State Law says. Turn left and drive on this road in a North Northwest heading on your compass for 35 minutes...turn right on third dirt road with sign that says Lonesome Forest Lodge This Way!

Step 11. Pull sun visors down in your truck as the rays of the sun coming up x-ray your corneas and blind you.

Step 12. Arrive at your management area, ready to hunt.

Step 13. Step out of your truck and realize you forgot your gun.

Step 14. Throw temper tantrum that would make a three year old look like an amateur with every cuss word and phrase of ill-repute you can think of screamed out at the top of your lungs...

Step 15. Catch large brown cow antler shape out of the corner of your eye wondering if you and all the ruckus you are making is a female Moose...

Step 16. Jaw drops to the ground as you watch the biggest Bull Moose of your entire life realize he won't find a female Moose near you or your truck and watch it slowly fade away into the bush...at the pace of a slug.

Step 17. Pick up rock and throw it at Moose in hope you can maim it and somehow break its neck when it is down...

Step 18. Cry, cry, and cry...and do some more cussing...and get ready for the long drive home...

Step 19. Reverse steps 8 through 11...put visors back up...it's getting to be dusk now, left right, right left, tourists at dinner, crosswalks, water impoundment, T in the road, wow look at I-95 its moving real fast...only a couple miles from home now...I love this song....yeahhhh....I love this song.

Step 20. CRASH! SCREEEECCCCHCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! BOOOM, crash, POW! OOOHHHHHH.....Ouch! I JUST HIT A MOOOSE!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Of eigenvectors and modified adjacency matrixes...es?...and of course BBQ Sauce!

Ahhhhhhhhhh....eigenvectors.

Or should I say OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH....eigenvectors!

Never in my wildest dreams should I have EVER had to have that word in my head, nor may I say, any shred of desire to actually learn what one of those eigenvector-ee things is.

Not a topic at the School of Building Construction at the University of Florida...not a topic at Umatilla High School...not even a topic in ALL the training and books and websites I've ever crossed paths with.

Until THIS day.

Yah...this is the day I learned about page ranking for my website for Sweet Life Sauce Company...holding tank of all things small batch, handcrafted BBQ Sauces, Hot Sauces, and Grilling Rubs...quite gratuitously too I might add at www.sweetlifesaucecompany.com.

There's this web page ranking tool thing you can get from Google...just up there on that toolbar that allows you to see the "weight" of your website pages in the eyes of the algorithms. Ranks from 0-10...takes a while to climb the ladder on this ranking thing.

I shouldn't be where I am yet...at a 2...a 2 out of 10 on my way to being a 3 out of 10. I have chills MAN! Yarbrough...let's talk!

Here's the math...come on, follow it with me.

Where R is the solution of the equation

Where the adjacency functionis 0 if page pi does not link to pj, and normalised such that, for each i

i.e. the elements of each column sum up to 1.

Yeah...I said the same thing...THE FREAKIN ANSWER IS 1??!!!!!

For those of you that do better with pictures, this will help to clarify this incredible beauty of nature...let's call it an ornament of nature for its beauty...

























chirp.chirp...chirp.chirp...

light wind blowing through the wispy branches of the night forest, you hear the soft chirpings of a night cricket in its love song


lighting softens as the full moon passes behind a wispy alto-cumulus cloud



And as Bill Cosby prattled(forever immortalized in my head from endless re-tellings on the ole' record player) of Noah and the Ark when the Good Lord said "NOAH...I want you to build an Ark!"

And Noah responds...."RRRRIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Yeah right...all I know is that this algorithm thing helps me get traffic to my website. "Random Surfers" as they are called get directed to websites in all these links and backlinks and pointings and keywords and tags and metatags and blogs and social networking and forums and it looks like this...























So I'm doing it.

Not you though...you can enjoy sauces from Sweet Life Sauce Company any time you want. It's the sauce that's making us modify our adjacency matrixes so they are at a right angle yet intersecting with your eigenvectors AND your taste buds.

Get your SAUCE! From www.sweetlifesaucecompany.com.

All will be well in the land...a little chilly for the moment but well.