Monday, February 22, 2010

Moose permit, Moose permit...where for art thou Moose Permit


I recently received some incredible pics of one of our products being used on a fresh Moose steak from a good friend up in Maine Joe S.

The pictures made me drool and I took his recipe and posted on our website at www.sweetlifesaucecompany.com under our recipes tab.

As I was typing this recipe up, it made me wonder the process one must go through to actually have a fresh piece of Moose steak, rare, and with perfectly placed grilling marks on each side show up in a picture you could flip out to your buddies on e-mail.

As Americans, we have images and stories of our forefathers hunting Moose in our Northern Tier of states...a legacy that lives to this day though we have lots more people and probably fewer Moose.

I thought the research would start with the first step into the woods...you know...hunting for Moose...little did I know it all started with a Mainer staple since 1998 now...the Moose Permit Lottery Drawing.

First things first...and a Mainer rite of passage these days. You gotta get a Moose Permit if you want to bag a Moose...and you can only bag 1.

I've done my best to garner the information from a well done set of processes and regulations you can find on the State of Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife website.

Here goes...

Get your Moose Permit Lottery Registration in before April 1 if you do it by paper application. However, if you do it via the online application process, you get until April 14th at 11:59 pm to submit. (right after that, you can hit the send button to finish up any obligations you may have to Uncle Sam as well...you ARE sitting at your computer)

Oh yeah...only 3,140 permits will be issued in 2010....125 more than 2009. (A possible benefit of Global Warming according to some camps...less ice in the mountains means more land for the Moose to wander on...thus leading to a population explosion which has to be controlled ...I saw it in a college kids paper...it must be true.)

It is STRONGLY suggested to use the Online Moose Permit Lottery process to save time. Additionally, you get instant feedback of confirmation you are registered for the lottery...a sense of knowing you will not have if you submit via a paper application.

In Maine, you are allowed to do a bit of gambling to increase your odds of pulling one of the 3,140 permits that will be issued in 2010. You can buy more "chances". 1 Chance will cost you $7 bucks...3 chances will cost you $12 bucks, and 6 will cost you $22 bucks...but you gotta buy at least one.

Bonus points are also added which count as additional "chances" for any hunter that HAS entered the Moose Lottery but HAS NOT had their name drawn to receive a Moose Permit since the lottery began in 1998. One "chance" will be added to your BONUS for each consecutive year that you have not been selected.

The State has a little database that keeps track of all this "bonus" and "chance" stuff so don't you worry.

You will forfeit your bonus if you skip a year and forget to pay for one...or you actually get a permit this year ...or if you actually get a permit but then say..."uhhh...no thanks, I really didn't want one, I just came for the Moose Permit drawing party ...I never would go out in the woods and hunt a Moose...are you kidding me, I don't even like Moose."....or somehow the State figures out you didn't apply legally this year...(remember the online process...keeps down mistakes...use it)...or you happen to input your wrong date of birth or forget to tell the State you applied for a permit last year...or I suspect...if you are dead.

Other than those reasons...you will get your "bonus" points added and no you can not will your bonus points to a buddy!

Now then...time to pick the area of the State of Maine in which you would like to apply for a permit. There are 28 Management Districts across the State of Maine....no guarantees you'll get the one you want.

Here are some stats to get you an idea of the math you are up against...

The State of Maine covers an area of 33,215 Square miles...say and average of 1,200 square miles per district to go find your Moose in...of yeah ...Moose.

There are approximately 29,000 Moose in the State of Maine with a number of crazy tourist Moose that come up from Massachusetts each year and act like they own the place.

Canadian Moose must have a passport to come into Maine but they are still coming so they can take advantage of our Health Care system in the US.

New Hampshire Moose typically are not able to make it across the state line into Maine as they get trampled and killed on the road by the Massachusetts Moose....it's slowing those crazy tourist Moose down a little. (oddly enough, there have also been unconfirmed sightings of Maine Moose looking for shoes at Fiddlers Green in North Conway, New Hampshire ...we're still looking for reliable eyewitness accounts and photos).

This makes about 1.14 Moose per square mile of Maine or almost 11 permits per square mile that are staggered through the different Moose Hunting Season Dates per each of the Management Area Zones ...including all of its lakes and rivers, which some of these Moose may be swimming IN and not actually be ON the land.

Find your Square Mile of Moose heaven and you have some pretty good odds....as long as you don't get shot by the other 10 guys out there doing the same thing. Be careful!

When you get your permit, get your Management area assignment, THEN you can whip out your wallet again and pay $52 bucks to actually get your Moose Permit...up until now, it's been a game of chance to just get ON the VIP list....but you're in! ($484 if you are NOT a Mainer)

Wait a minute...you got your Moose Permit, you got your Management Area...but you didn't reeeaaallllyyyy like the management area that you got. If you would like...and can find someone who would like you and your management area...you can SWAP! A swap will cost you $7.00 bucks between the 2 of you but hey...if you are up for it...go for it.

Just send one letter ...signed by both of you. Be sure though to include, your name...your swap dudes name...your permit number...the permit number of the dude you are swapping with...the permit type you have...the permit type your swap buddy has...the season you pulled...the season your buddy pulled that you want...the Management area you are not wanting to hunt in...the management area of your buddy that you WANT to hunt in...and a check for $7.00 made out to "Treasurer, State of Maine'...no cash. All due into Augusta by no later than July 31st...Treasurer Lemoine has a busy month reading swap letters in August and counting up all those $7.00 checks.

If you are sloppily wealthy and don't get your number pulled...this Moose Hunt thing is not over for you yet. See, the State of Maine will let 10 permits go each year to the highest bidders. That person could be you if you are up for sending a sealed bid in to get your permit. Once you follow all the procedures to submit your sealed bid and are determined to be one of the top ten bidders, you will then be given a permit and treated like all the other Moose Permit holders in the State of Maine...

(Except that if one of the other 3,140 dudes that went through the hell of waiting since 1998 to get his name pulled for a Moose Permit(not to mention the thousands of dudes that didn't even get picked but had to settle for one more "bonus" point for next year) finds out that you are one of those Top Ten bidder types that just strolled in with a wad of cash and a sealed envelope, you will probably get your butt kicked!)

Alright...you have made it through the forest, the fire, the lottery, the red tape, the joy, the agony...BUT YOU HAVE A MOOSE PERMIT! WWOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Fresh permit in hand...now its off to go find a Moose!

Here are the steps to go through to bag your Moose this year...

Step 1. Set alarm for 12:00 a.m. as it will take 3 hours to drive to your Management Area from where you live and you want to be "in the woods" 2 hours before sunrise.

Step 2. Head hits pillow at 11:15 p.m. for some well needed sleep.

Step 3. Hit snooze on alarm when it goes off at 12:00 a.m. after 45 minutes of dreamy sleep.

Step 4. Hit snooze alarm again after another 9 minutes of sleep.

Step 5. Hit snooze alarm again after another 9 minutes of sleep but this time rip alarm clock from the wall and throw it across the room...

Step 6. Wake out of sleepy stupor dream state where you heard this tapping noise you thought was a Bull Moose rubbing its massive rack on a tree only to realize its your lazy dog running in its sleep on the floor next to your bed...

Step 7. Realize with TERROR that you have a good nights sleep behind you now and that you should already be in the woods of your management area but are just now running to your truck with one sock on your head, a hat on your elbow, and a child's mitten tightly pulled up and around your calf...

Step 8. And you Mainers will get this...Make a right out of your driveway and drive for 2.3 miles. Turn left and drive for 4.2 miles. Stop at the T in the road and turn right. Go 5.6 miles. Cross over I-95 but don't even think your are going to get anywhere close to a road on the way to your management area that you can do 70 on.

Step 9. Turn left at the big water shed impoundment and drive 6.7 miles. Come to a dirt road but don't take that one...take the next one and make a left. This will take you through this windy forest road that will dump you out on Route 7. When you hit Route 7, turn left. Go for about 10.3 miles. Turn North.

Step 10. Drive in a general North direction for an hour...doesn't really matter which road...just drive in a general North direction. After an hour you should hit a lake. Turn left at the lake, watch out for the tourists at the Restaurant getting their breakfast as you scream by them...they think they own the road and will expect you to stop for them in the crosswalk...just like State Law says. Turn left and drive on this road in a North Northwest heading on your compass for 35 minutes...turn right on third dirt road with sign that says Lonesome Forest Lodge This Way!

Step 11. Pull sun visors down in your truck as the rays of the sun coming up x-ray your corneas and blind you.

Step 12. Arrive at your management area, ready to hunt.

Step 13. Step out of your truck and realize you forgot your gun.

Step 14. Throw temper tantrum that would make a three year old look like an amateur with every cuss word and phrase of ill-repute you can think of screamed out at the top of your lungs...

Step 15. Catch large brown cow antler shape out of the corner of your eye wondering if you and all the ruckus you are making is a female Moose...

Step 16. Jaw drops to the ground as you watch the biggest Bull Moose of your entire life realize he won't find a female Moose near you or your truck and watch it slowly fade away into the bush...at the pace of a slug.

Step 17. Pick up rock and throw it at Moose in hope you can maim it and somehow break its neck when it is down...

Step 18. Cry, cry, and cry...and do some more cussing...and get ready for the long drive home...

Step 19. Reverse steps 8 through 11...put visors back up...it's getting to be dusk now, left right, right left, tourists at dinner, crosswalks, water impoundment, T in the road, wow look at I-95 its moving real fast...only a couple miles from home now...I love this song....yeahhhh....I love this song.

Step 20. CRASH! SCREEEECCCCHCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! BOOOM, crash, POW! OOOHHHHHH.....Ouch! I JUST HIT A MOOOSE!